Nothing great in the world has ever been accomplished without passion.
-Hegel
Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.
We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves to be like other people.
-Schopenhauer (both)
All I know is I'm not a Marxist.
-Karl Marx
10.25.2006
10.24.2006
I Can't Help Picturing It
I hate how how one amazing song,
Which used to somehow transmit all of what I wanted,
Now refuses to bring about any thoughts,
Except that day in the mountains.
I am hoping it is just from the recency,
The sun receding to sleep like I knew I wouldn't,
The mountains never said a thing but made the most,
Vivid impression I've had in a while.
I took it all in near the end,
And maybe I shouldn't have done that,
Now I remember exactly where I was,
Staring into a buck's eyes as if to query am I meant for this?
I really did think you were asleep,
And I was engulfed by some great emotion,
Letting myself admit that maybe you had a good time,
And maybe you were happy there beside me.
I actually stopped as I was craving my bed the other night,
Hearing the wind through the crack in my front door,
I stepped out and never noticed,
How real the stars are from my own house.
I think my only qualm is with myself,
In the indecision this has put me in,
The turbulance-ridden mindset I reside under,
And I still can't find a word for you.
As much as this rings in my ears constantly,
I always put on this very song,
And I don't want to say if that means something,
Or if there's something to mean.
Still so scared.
Which used to somehow transmit all of what I wanted,
Now refuses to bring about any thoughts,
Except that day in the mountains.
I am hoping it is just from the recency,
The sun receding to sleep like I knew I wouldn't,
The mountains never said a thing but made the most,
Vivid impression I've had in a while.
I took it all in near the end,
And maybe I shouldn't have done that,
Now I remember exactly where I was,
Staring into a buck's eyes as if to query am I meant for this?
I really did think you were asleep,
And I was engulfed by some great emotion,
Letting myself admit that maybe you had a good time,
And maybe you were happy there beside me.
I actually stopped as I was craving my bed the other night,
Hearing the wind through the crack in my front door,
I stepped out and never noticed,
How real the stars are from my own house.
I think my only qualm is with myself,
In the indecision this has put me in,
The turbulance-ridden mindset I reside under,
And I still can't find a word for you.
As much as this rings in my ears constantly,
I always put on this very song,
And I don't want to say if that means something,
Or if there's something to mean.
Still so scared.
10.22.2006
10.20.2006
Incredible Song
Ok I just had to post the lyrics to this amazing Sufjan Stevens song:
Casimir Pulaski Day
Goldenrod and the 4H stone,
The things I brought you when I found out,
You had cancer of the bone.
Your father cried on the telephone,
And he drove his car into the navy yard,
Just to prove that he was sorry.
In the morning through the window shade,
When the light pressed up against your shoulderblade,
I could see what you were reading.
All the glory that the Lord has made,
And the complications you could do without,
When I kissed you on the mouth.
Tuesday Night at the Bible study,
We lift our hands and pray over your body,
But nothing ever happens.
I remember at Michael's house,
In the living room when you kissed my neck,
And I almost touched your blouse.
In the morning at the top of the stairs,
When your father found out what we did that night,
And you told me you were scared.
Oh the glory when you ran outside,
With your shirt tucked in and your shoes untied,
And you told me not to follow you.
Sunday night when I cleaned the house,
I find the card where you wrote it out,
With the pictures of your mother.
On the floor at the great divide,
With my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied,
I am crying in the bathroom.
In the morning when you finally go,
And the nurse runs in with her head hung low,
And the cardinal hits the window.
In the morning in the winter shade,
On the first of March on the holiday,
I thought I saw you breathing.
All the glory that the Lord has made,
And the complications when I see His face,
In the morning in the window.
All the glory when He took our place,
But He took my shoulders and He shook my face,
and He takes and He takes and He takes.
~love~
Casimir Pulaski Day
Goldenrod and the 4H stone,
The things I brought you when I found out,
You had cancer of the bone.
Your father cried on the telephone,
And he drove his car into the navy yard,
Just to prove that he was sorry.
In the morning through the window shade,
When the light pressed up against your shoulderblade,
I could see what you were reading.
All the glory that the Lord has made,
And the complications you could do without,
When I kissed you on the mouth.
Tuesday Night at the Bible study,
We lift our hands and pray over your body,
But nothing ever happens.
I remember at Michael's house,
In the living room when you kissed my neck,
And I almost touched your blouse.
In the morning at the top of the stairs,
When your father found out what we did that night,
And you told me you were scared.
Oh the glory when you ran outside,
With your shirt tucked in and your shoes untied,
And you told me not to follow you.
Sunday night when I cleaned the house,
I find the card where you wrote it out,
With the pictures of your mother.
On the floor at the great divide,
With my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied,
I am crying in the bathroom.
In the morning when you finally go,
And the nurse runs in with her head hung low,
And the cardinal hits the window.
In the morning in the winter shade,
On the first of March on the holiday,
I thought I saw you breathing.
All the glory that the Lord has made,
And the complications when I see His face,
In the morning in the window.
All the glory when He took our place,
But He took my shoulders and He shook my face,
and He takes and He takes and He takes.
~love~
Past
When I think of where I've live,
I don't miss it because I know I can't go back.
But I remember it.
I don't miss it because I know I can't go back.
But I remember it.
I Have Ceased to be Capable of Coherent Thought
I think I am at my best here,
Watching the million tiny peaks float along,
This is my dock, my lake, my life,
I owe so very much.
It should be so lonely being the only one out here,
But I feel so many around somewhere,
The wind is starting to bit and this jacket isn't much help,
Still not much could make me move.
If you were here,
I'd probably be better at explaining this,
I'll bring you someday if you care,
And show you were I am in love.
God it's embarrassing how much I drift to you,
Your smile when it's completely honest,
And the catch I feel when I get the details straight in my head.
I forgot there were wind chimes here,
Rusted like most of the leaves now,
And I will suffer the breeze still,
Because it makes such beautiful music.
I am so insecure off these rotted planks,
Even of these very words,
But I'm starting not to care,
Can you commend me for that?
I'm still after the same old same old,
That one feeling I can't pen,
Catching glimpses so far apart,
Unforgetably framed and eternally sought.
Please, Please Forgive!
I know I am only rambling,
And I apologize for taking your time,
You really do have to just be here.
Could I tell you to your face?
How you stop everything,
Or have you heard it so much that it can't be true,
No matter how true it is.
I'm laughing at the fish,
Pen in my mouth like a pipe,
And thinking how much I want to sleep out here,
And see what dream that brings.
When I laugh at nothing,
It's because I'm scared as hell,
More than any politics could do,
You shake my heart.
I wish I could help more people,
And stop at least some of the unnecessary shit,
That goes on in the back of our minds,
Maybe I'll take up banjo.
The wind's up to cresting waves,
And the geese are floating in,
I'll take it as the right time to stop this one,
But I'm still not moving.
Watching the million tiny peaks float along,
This is my dock, my lake, my life,
I owe so very much.
It should be so lonely being the only one out here,
But I feel so many around somewhere,
The wind is starting to bit and this jacket isn't much help,
Still not much could make me move.
If you were here,
I'd probably be better at explaining this,
I'll bring you someday if you care,
And show you were I am in love.
God it's embarrassing how much I drift to you,
Your smile when it's completely honest,
And the catch I feel when I get the details straight in my head.
I forgot there were wind chimes here,
Rusted like most of the leaves now,
And I will suffer the breeze still,
Because it makes such beautiful music.
I am so insecure off these rotted planks,
Even of these very words,
But I'm starting not to care,
Can you commend me for that?
I'm still after the same old same old,
That one feeling I can't pen,
Catching glimpses so far apart,
Unforgetably framed and eternally sought.
Please, Please Forgive!
I know I am only rambling,
And I apologize for taking your time,
You really do have to just be here.
Could I tell you to your face?
How you stop everything,
Or have you heard it so much that it can't be true,
No matter how true it is.
I'm laughing at the fish,
Pen in my mouth like a pipe,
And thinking how much I want to sleep out here,
And see what dream that brings.
When I laugh at nothing,
It's because I'm scared as hell,
More than any politics could do,
You shake my heart.
I wish I could help more people,
And stop at least some of the unnecessary shit,
That goes on in the back of our minds,
Maybe I'll take up banjo.
The wind's up to cresting waves,
And the geese are floating in,
I'll take it as the right time to stop this one,
But I'm still not moving.
10.12.2006
Red Cricket Ball
Unpacking I find,
That red cricket ball,
Scars digging in on all sides,
The lace beginning to come undone.
Just holding it right,
Catching the scent of that field,
I remember where every cloud was in the sky,
And every word that was said.
So important and yet so small,
So much was said in that red cricket ball,
Now it serves to punctuate those events,
Empathetic as it rests in my hand.
I toss it up for good measure,
Thinking of all the distance it's traveled,
All the hands it's seen,
And all the time that's passed.
I know when I'm lonely I'll return,
To this red cricket ball,
With it they almost seem real again,
And it doesn't hurt as much.
That red cricket ball,
Scars digging in on all sides,
The lace beginning to come undone.
Just holding it right,
Catching the scent of that field,
I remember where every cloud was in the sky,
And every word that was said.
So important and yet so small,
So much was said in that red cricket ball,
Now it serves to punctuate those events,
Empathetic as it rests in my hand.
I toss it up for good measure,
Thinking of all the distance it's traveled,
All the hands it's seen,
And all the time that's passed.
I know when I'm lonely I'll return,
To this red cricket ball,
With it they almost seem real again,
And it doesn't hurt as much.
10.09.2006
Trabajar
It is my delegated post to harness,
These endless unshapen thoughts and makings of dreams,
To carve them clean and give them shape,
To manifest whatever floats in those yearning.
For I am the Writer,
Allbeit not a good one is true,
But as such I must transmit,
That which is before only felt now real to you.
These endless unshapen thoughts and makings of dreams,
To carve them clean and give them shape,
To manifest whatever floats in those yearning.
For I am the Writer,
Allbeit not a good one is true,
But as such I must transmit,
That which is before only felt now real to you.
Full Circle
One of these days I will fade for good,
And then I can finally return to that summer home,
With all my friends and none of my baggage,
Will I even be able to speak on that day?
Sit down with a cranberry and orange muffin,
And wait for Emma Watson to come back around,
Or run out in the neverending downpour,
For some water-fight soccer action.
The alleys cry out every memory,
Every joke and every change,
Everything I could ever want and so do,
So much contained in that aging stone.
Everyone will be there when I come up that road,
Life will come complete and it will be my chosen Heaven,
I want to hear every one of your lives right away,
Right back on those steps I will finally be at the right home.
**Special thanks to Liam-No one could replace you Wingman, Cody-my capitalist Goose I will go get you those chips soon, Alyssa- you're one in a million, and that's not just cus of the scrabble obsession, Skye- I promise never to complain if you snag some of my chips ever again, Noor- I'm not sure I've ever met anyone so full of life or ever will again, Sara(h)- I took the "h" back (zombie victory!), Tosh- my little wcheeeee you're too special, Carolyn- dorkette you were a dream come true, Sheru- mellow really is the best life man, Michael Wong- MICHAEL WONG!!!, Geoff- you make me want to go to Canada (never before accomplished by mere mortal), Jaimie- the only one to most distance herself from the power of words to describe I can only say incredible, Anna- Brazilian will we ever understand each other's sarcasm?, Reva- How hard it was to walk you through that airport you will never know, Nick- cheese dick homo budd I shoulda taken that walk with you, Josey- you're on the phone right now aren't you?, entire S&D class- P.O.I. we kick ass, and HERE COMES THE LIST!!!
THE STEPS, Staircase IV Entrance, Pembroke Quad, Chef's Corner, Coffee Republic, G&D's, PIAZZA, Borders, Waterstones, University Park, Ben's Cookies, The Mitre, Christ Church Meadows, Sainsbury's, and OXFORD!!!
I know this thing doesn't do a shred of justice to you guys. I know I forgot so many people and so many places, so just ask me and of course I'll add you, but I just thought I had to write something about Oxford or I was going to explode. So there you go. I love all of you. -Tyler**
And then I can finally return to that summer home,
With all my friends and none of my baggage,
Will I even be able to speak on that day?
Sit down with a cranberry and orange muffin,
And wait for Emma Watson to come back around,
Or run out in the neverending downpour,
For some water-fight soccer action.
The alleys cry out every memory,
Every joke and every change,
Everything I could ever want and so do,
So much contained in that aging stone.
Everyone will be there when I come up that road,
Life will come complete and it will be my chosen Heaven,
I want to hear every one of your lives right away,
Right back on those steps I will finally be at the right home.
**Special thanks to Liam-No one could replace you Wingman, Cody-my capitalist Goose I will go get you those chips soon, Alyssa- you're one in a million, and that's not just cus of the scrabble obsession, Skye- I promise never to complain if you snag some of my chips ever again, Noor- I'm not sure I've ever met anyone so full of life or ever will again, Sara(h)- I took the "h" back (zombie victory!), Tosh- my little wcheeeee you're too special, Carolyn- dorkette you were a dream come true, Sheru- mellow really is the best life man, Michael Wong- MICHAEL WONG!!!, Geoff- you make me want to go to Canada (never before accomplished by mere mortal), Jaimie- the only one to most distance herself from the power of words to describe I can only say incredible, Anna- Brazilian will we ever understand each other's sarcasm?, Reva- How hard it was to walk you through that airport you will never know, Nick- cheese dick homo budd I shoulda taken that walk with you, Josey- you're on the phone right now aren't you?, entire S&D class- P.O.I. we kick ass, and HERE COMES THE LIST!!!
THE STEPS, Staircase IV Entrance, Pembroke Quad, Chef's Corner, Coffee Republic, G&D's, PIAZZA, Borders, Waterstones, University Park, Ben's Cookies, The Mitre, Christ Church Meadows, Sainsbury's, and OXFORD!!!
I know this thing doesn't do a shred of justice to you guys. I know I forgot so many people and so many places, so just ask me and of course I'll add you, but I just thought I had to write something about Oxford or I was going to explode. So there you go. I love all of you. -Tyler**
Open Eyes
I close my eyes to picture it in sleep,
Someday when the leaves are falling,
She'll smile and no words will be said,
And the fingers will subtly lace.
Never anything so simple,
Never anything so quaint,
As the neat tip of her nose,
The radiant smile set upon her face,
I pray to God we don't have much,
Just an apartment and some laughs,
My universe really was made for two,
Everyone else a beautiful background music,
I refuse to wake up from it this time!
From what I'm so unsure of fulfillment,
On darkening knees I will not give this up,
I will fight for the illusion if that is what I have,
But the sun knows me better,
And the seasons are coming right,
For my eyes to be open,
And the same real to play through.
Someday when the leaves are falling,
She'll smile and no words will be said,
And the fingers will subtly lace.
Never anything so simple,
Never anything so quaint,
As the neat tip of her nose,
The radiant smile set upon her face,
I pray to God we don't have much,
Just an apartment and some laughs,
My universe really was made for two,
Everyone else a beautiful background music,
I refuse to wake up from it this time!
From what I'm so unsure of fulfillment,
On darkening knees I will not give this up,
I will fight for the illusion if that is what I have,
But the sun knows me better,
And the seasons are coming right,
For my eyes to be open,
And the same real to play through.
10.02.2006
Purple Glasses
I have taken off my purple glasses,
The world is not cool enough now,
But that part of my night is over,
I can never go back,
To my purple glasses.
The world is not cool enough now,
But that part of my night is over,
I can never go back,
To my purple glasses.
Similarities
At the core of all men is one long, continuous shout.
I am joining in that at the moment.
Viva.
I am joining in that at the moment.
Viva.
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