I'm Ruining This For Me

In the dark,

I am ready for you,

Oh Sun,

Rising to wonder my dull eyes,

My unshaven chin,

I cannot uphold this commandment,

I cannot keep Your strength,

I feel cold red wood,

On the empty soles of feet,

I hear it swirling,

Beneath my conscious thought,

What are You doing where we cannot see?

I keep breathing,

Is it mine own?

Slowly, down the hall,

Alone in this wider space,

Bigger than You,

Her,

My entire unremarkable state,

If you are ever to read this,

On dried parchment in dusty corridor,

And imagine who I was,

Remember me!

I will have no part in it,

I will know not your tribute,

How many generations do we have left?

No one has told me the answers to anything that matters,

And I have not yet found out myself,

And I cannot make myself cry for the fact of it.

I will forget it all by morning.